Social Media, blogging, recording, streaming, content content content...!
Sunday night- the cusp of a new week. I felt happy, relaxed and rested after a weeks holiday. Everything in the house was up to date- a full fridge, an empty washing basket and the ironing all done. I felt GOOD! My next thought was I've got some time, lets create content!
I love producing content and being creative and I thought I'd try something new but after two hours of faffing on one task, getting nowhere and feeling like a downright failure, I burst into tears.
This isn't the first time I've cried over social media this year and it seems to be a reoccurring trend. Every few months I get this wave of overwhelming pressure wash over me and everything gets a bit much. To make things worse I then focus on all the things I haven't done like not putting out a blog post in over a week, my scheduled tweets running out and my whatsapp messages through the roof... I end up melting into a sorry mess and feeling like a failure.
Luckily for me I have a husband and fellow blogger friends who are always there to listen and pick me back up. (Yes that's you Laura, Pippa and Chris.) The hubster likes to point out that nothing will happen if I don't post. It's not work, I don't get paid (generally) to post so why do I put so much pressure on myself? It's a bloody good question and one that I don't have an answer for in truth. My friends will tell me to take a stop back, chill and come back to it when I'm ready and in a better place. But what do I get myself in such a state in the first place?
If I'm totally honest with myself I have fallen out of love a bit with blogging compared to how I used to feel. I have lost the drive, motivation and energy for it and I think its my own fault because of the pressure I put on myself. When and why did I start putting such ridiculous pressure upon myself when this is just a hobby after all?
I then sometime toy with the idea of jacking it in altogether but then I wonder what I'd do with my tie. Would I have fomo? Blogging has brought me so many wonderful opportunities over the years as well as amazing friendships which wouldn't be if it weren't for this hobby.
Denim Jacket- Primark (old)
Cropped Trousers- New Look
Slogan Tee- Joanie
Photography by Sians Photography
My biggest fear of all (which I'm aware is going to sound insane) is if I don't blog... what defies me as a person? And even worse- I worry that my friends and family will find me boring!
Blogging has been "my thing" for such a long time. I feel I'd be lost without it. maye quitting isn't the ticket but learning to somehow release myself from my own grips of pressure? Anyway these are all just my ramblings, thoughts and feelings on the situation but I'd love to know if anyone else ever feels like this and what you do/have done to overcome it.