Running My Marathon

Well this is a post I never envisaged writing in my wildest dreams but here we are! I ran a bloody marathon and I thought it would be good to a) document it for myself b) shed some light and maybe some inspiration on anyone who would like to run one themselves. If you'd like to know how I got into running in the first place you can read my post here and just to put it out there I'm no expert!

Firstly...why!?

Honestly? I've always thought it would be pretty cool to do a marathon but here are two main reasons why I decided to run one. The first is I basically got a bit carried away when I got into running and read a book called Running Like a Girl. The book was all about running a marathon and the writer's experience of falling in love with running. I really related to this book and was reading it when I was doing the Couch to 5k. That teamed with watching the London Marathon in 2019 led me to get a bit over excited and apply to do a marathon myself. I couldn't even run a 5k at this point but I felt so inspired and thought I'd set myself the challenge. I'd found running to really boost my mood and help with those bad mental health days that we all have and I wanted to aim high. A lot of people around me at the time had their doubts, thinking I'd bitten off more than I could chew, telling me it was "a nice dream to have" or would say " you do realise a Marathon is a big commitment and it's going to be hard!" At that point maybe I hadn't realised what I'd taken on but I'd be damned if I'd let anyone tell me that I couldn't do it which is what people were trying to tell me in a round about way.

I then decided I'd run for charity. A lot of people raise money for cancer charities which is fantastic however I wanted to give back to a cause that has effected me personally and to say thank you really. Without going too much into it, like many people I've had my own personal battles with mental health over the years but if there's one thing I've learnt (and even more so through running) is that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and not doing anything to actively help yourself will make it so much bloody worse. So a little part of this marathon was me sticking my finger up to negative feelings and allowing them to ever have gotten the better of me. With that in mind, I decided the charity I wanted to raise money for was Mind. Their website is fantastic for reference and advice on mental health which I've looked at in the past but that's just the tip of the iceberg with what they provide for people. For me it just felt like the right charity and would motivate me to succeed at a marathon.

Training

I started training for the marathon just before Christmas and loosely used a training plan put together by the Fire Fighters Charity. With working on shift I planned my running days around my shifts rather being regimental with my training days being set days of the week. Running long distances after a night shift realistically for me would never happen so I chose to do my longest runs on my rest days and the shorter runs on day shifts or before my first night shift. I generally ran three times a week rather than four as I found this more achievable and for cross training I would go for walks with the doggo. A lot of people asked me how I managed to get the miles done in training and honestly I think it's all about mentally preparing yourself. Your body will do the miles, you've just got to believe you can do it and trust the process. I never worried about how long it would take me to complete a distance so I never felt that pressure and just enjoyed the runs as best I could. Don't get me wrong, some runs I didn't want to do and I would struggle but as many runners say, you never regret a run. Building up to longer mileage and hitting those mini milestones made me confident that I could do it and for me it was all about making the time to do the training. I'm no athlete so admittedly I was still having a few drinks on the weekend and having the odd takeaway but I never let that interfere with my training! I trained for 17 weeks in total which sounds like a long time but those weeks soon slipped by and I was ready for the main event.

Race Day

With COVID-19 going on, my marathon day changed dramatically. I was originally going to run the Manchester Marathon but with social distancing and all the rest it just wasn't meant to be. Unfortunately I can't make the rescheduled date in October and having done my longest training run the day the news broke that it would be postponed, I decided to run my own race. I'd ran 20 miles that day and I felt ready to run the full distance in two weeks time so I decided to run my own marathon where I live and keep to my word of running a marathon to raise money for Mind.

Chris put together a running route for me which was bang on 26.2 miles door to door around the area we live. It encompassed self isolating back roads in the countryside to ensure I wouldn't come into contact with anyone on my route and he also came with me as my support crew to fuel me. Unlike an official event, there aren't any fuelling stations to grab a drink or have a snack in the Lincolnshire countryside (!) so Chris rode beside me, passing me a drink or a snack whenever I needed it. For fuel I had a selection of jelly babies, flap jack, jaffa cakes, water and lucozade sport. All very sugary and carby which is perfect for a marathon even if you do get sick of the taste half way through. I wish cheese would work the same!!

When it came to the actual run I wasn't as nervous as I'd anticipated. I slept like a log the night before whereas had I been in Manchester I suspect I'd have been full of nerves the night before and barely slept! I started running and loved the route Chris had chosen. It was lovely to run a different route and see things in my area that I would never normally notice in the car. From daffodils to sheep, quaint houses to lovely landscapes- it was a pleasure to run through the countryside. My spirits were high and I was feeling fine up until Chris started playing voice clips from my family and friends cheering me on and encouraging me. It made me so emotional and I don't think they will ever fully understand how appreciative I was of their support that day. Hearing someone you love saying "come on Kat you can do it" really gave me a boost to continue as well as cry because everyone was being so bloody lovely. Chris would send videos back to them of me saying thank you and plodding on with the miles and the messages I received got more and more inventive. Friends played the guitar and sang, filmed themselves and all sorts. It was bloody amazing and spurred me on no end.



Running wise I didn't stop. At no point did I walk or take a break, I just went and went and went. The struggle came for me just after the 18 mile mark. I knew I was able to do further, having run 20 miles in training but for some reason my head started to struggle. What if I couldn't do it? What if I let everyone down? I felt tired and after every step my head was shouting at me to stop. If there's one thing I've learnt through running this past year it's never stop. You will regret it and kick yourself for it. The pain is temporary whereas disappointment will haunt you.



Miles 20-24 I had a bit of a paddy and looking back I feel sorry for Chris!! I was whinging at him  about how I wanted to go home to which he said "we're going home!" and I would then say "I want it to be over now". How he kept his cool I don't know but he kept encouraging me and telling me how well I was doing which helped so much even if it didn't appear to at the time! I can't explain what went through my head during those miles but my head went to a dark place and I think that's where I "hit the wall". I can honestly say though that that was nothing compared to where bad mental health can take you and I focused on that during those tough miles. I've been through worse, I've experienced worse and the whole point of this marathon is to give back to Mind and prove that you CAN get through the dark times.


Miles 24-26.2 I went really really quiet. Chris was still chatting to me on his bike but I was grunting back at him in response. All I could focus on was getting the final miles done. My left hip was giving me sharp shooting pain, my lower back was sore, my boobs were stinging from chaffing and I could feel a blister forming on my left big toe. Now my mind was determined but my body was screaming to stop. Would I give in now? Heck no. I knew where I was on the route, I was so close to home and if I stopped running now I'd still have to walk to get home. I'd really slowed down at this point due to everything hurting and feeling exhausted but I just had to finish and I knew I was nearly there.

For the final half a mile I ran alone and Chris went ahead to meet me at the finish. I looked out over the fields and at the sun making its way down in the sky and thought how lucky I am to have my health and the support network of my family and friends, especially during what has been such an uncertain time recently. And then I turned the corner of my road and I could see Chris smiling and cheering me on and it was over! As you can see from the video below the realisation of what I'd just done hit me all of a sudden. I'd run a marathon...what!?



My marathon may not have been what I'd pictured in my head for months and months on my training runs but it was my marathon none the less and I'd set out to do what I'd said I would. In a way it was more personal to me than a big official event. The area I got to run has meaning to me, my family and friends may not have been with me in person but they were certainly with me in spirit.

It's been a few weeks now since I ran my marathon. Would I do one again? At the time I remember saying never again and for now I feel like I've done what I set out to do but never say never eh... It's by far the hardest thing I've ever done and I think that in some ways it was harder doing such an isolated race as I didn't have the crowds to cheer me on or the adrenaline you get from a race scenario but regardless I did it.

I also smashed my fund raising target. I'd aimed to raise £200 for mind but instead raised over £500 which is just awesome and I'm so chuffed at the well wishes of everyone who sponsored me.

So what's next? I'm still running that's for sure and I'm enjoying being able to run for fun as and when I choose to rather then having to stick to a regimented training plan. As for future races or challenges all I will say is never say never!

Have you ever run a marathon or set yourself a physical challenge? I'd absolutely love to hear your stories! In the mean time I hope you enjoyed my marathon story and that maybe it inspired you to push yourself and smash a goal of yours.

Finding Running in my Thirties

This is a post that quite honestly I never thought I'd be writing in a million years. My relationship with exercise over the years had been next to non existent until March this year.

Having hit 30 years of age in December 2018, I thought I was content and happy with my rather laid back (read lazy) lifestyle. That was until I decided to do a Parkrun on a whim when visiting my Dad...

I hadn't done a Parkrun in around three years but thought to myself it's "only a 5k, I can do that easy!" Having done no exercise let alone running for three years I soon realized a mile in that actually it's really quite hard. I couldn't breathe and everything hurt which led me to give up and that point I thought oh f*ck and cried... At that moment it dawned on me just how unfit I was and if I didn't do anything about it now, it would only get worse as I got older. I was also quite angry at myself for letting myself give up so easily and not have the will power to continue so two days later I downloaded the "Couch to 5k" app and my love for running was born.

I remember my first few runs with the couch to 5k app, running for 90 seconds then walking for 60 and so on but it was manageable and thought- yes finally I've found something I enjoy! Being outdoors and in the countryside ignited so many feelings of joy for nature and the feeling of freedom- something that has massively helped to improve my mental health. Before I knew it I'd completed the twelve week challenge and could run a full 5k- something I don't think I'd ever done before. Yes I could run a 5k before that but did I stop to walk a bit? Yes. Do I do that now? Nope! And that's what led me to head to Run Fest Run- a running event that i'd highly recommend to all runners but especially newbie runners like myself as the atmosphere, the community, the people and the fun races really help to boost your confidence!

During my couch to 5k running, a friend of mine recommended a book called "Running Like a Girl" by Alexandra Hemmingsley. I bought it straight away and oh my goodness the way that woman writes about running is simply mesmerising. She talks about everything from people in her life being pessimistic about her running a marathon, to completing several marathons and how running has helped her not only with her fitness but to build relationships with her family and friends. Her words were so uplifting to me that when the 2019 London Marathon was televised- i signed up... At this point I couldn't even run 5k but fuelled by Alexandra's words and a passion for my new found exercise, I signed up to the ballot and then shortly after signed up to the Manchester Marathon on the advice that you're guaranteed a spot if you sign up before a certain date.

So that near enough brings me to present day... I've signed up for a flipping marathon!! Having completed a 5k, the next challenge for me was a 10k and weirdly I managed to run further than that 4 weeks before the race! This really gave me the confidence I needed to know I could run the race. The race itself was the Bedford Twilight 10k which I did on my own. To tell you that I was a "tad" nervous is an understatement...Having ran 5k races with my husband prior, he was like my security blanket and would spur me on during the runs but this time I only had myself to rely on. As hard as it was, it gave me real character building and I proved to myself that I can do it and that I'm more resilient than I realised.

I'm currently training for a half marathon later in the year before the full on marathon in April whoop!

So what has running taught me?

Firstly, I find running is amazing for your mental health. I'd been hearing the likes of Fearne Cotton, Chris Evans, Vassos etc bang on about running many times before and thought oh for goodness sake it cant be that great but once you get into it, it really helps to clear your head and it's almost like being in a meditative state. When I run I feel all my worries, anxiety and fears disparate around me and all I concentrate on are my beautiful surroundings, my feet hitting the ground and my breathing. I love to run to music too and certain tracks on my playlist add to that feeling of freedom and happiness. And it's true what they say about the endorphins (who else thinks of dolphins when that word is used). I adore the feeling running gives me. It's much better than any drug, shopping splurge or alcohol can give you. If running is an addiction it's a bloody good one.

Now yes running can be wonderous and gorgeous and make you feel euphoric but don't get me wrong it can be bloody tough too. There are days when I really can't be bothered but hand on heart I can always say that regardless of how I feel prior to a run, I never regret a run once I'm finished. It's a sense of achievement and being like "wow" my body is amazing.

Through building up my mileage I have seen a change in my body. I haven't really lost weight as such but I've noticed that my legs feel strong and solid now. You can't grab jiggle anymore and my legs crave the pavement if I haven't run in a few days.

So that's my news and the best thing I've discovered since turning 30. I'll probably do some more running related posts on the lead up to the marathon and like I say it's really a brilliant tool for your mental health which has led me to run for Mind- the mental health charity for the Manchester Marathon. If you fancy sponsoring me you can donate here- https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/katherinerayment

In the meantime, come say hi on Strava and talk to me all you like about running because I bloody love it!

How Headspace has Helped Me

Mindfulness has been very much at the forefront of the media in the last couple of years which is great! It's raising awareness of self care and putting it into practice is improving our mental well being which is something everyone can get on board with. It doesn't matter if you're mental health is great or not so much, mindfulness benefits us all.

I've been practising mindfulness in the form of meditation for the past nine months and if I'm honest, it's not something I ever thought I would do. When I thought of meditation it conjured up visions of humming cross legged in a garden with my fore finger and thumb clasped together on each knee. The reality however is much more simple and in my opinion better!

I use and app called Headspace to guide me through meditation. Admittedly when I started using it I was dubious but a few people I know had recommended it so I bit the bullet and with a ten day free trial, you get a good sense of whether its for you or not. For me, I found it so incredibly relaxing that within those first ten days I was converted. A lot of people meditate in the mornings but there's no right or wrong times to do it and for me personally, I find the best time of day for me is in the early evening.

You start with a beginners programme which teaches you how to just "be" and concentrate on your breathing. I couldn't get over how such a simple exercise could help me to switch off from my surroundings and help me relax. You quickly learn to focus on how my body is feeling whilst giving your mind some space to relax- something I'd found very difficult to do as I'm a person with a nervous and overthinking disposition.

This quiet time for ten to twenty minutes a day is great for settling your mind, getting yourself in a good head space for the day and appreciate a moments peace. As time goes on you are guided to put your meditation practices into your everyday life- things such as being present in the moment and how you want to be in your everyday life and for others around you. It also teaches you the following:

Being Present

This is something I've definitely taken on board in my everyday life. Being in the moment is so important because if you're constantly thinking about the future, are you really living in the here and now? Distractions such as phones I now try to keep to a minimum because you can miss so much when you're glued to a screen. Taking on this mind set has really opened up my time. I've found I do more hobbies such as reading, writing, crafting and knitting and conversations are much more meaningful when you're present with people. Sleep has also improved since I've stopped staring at lit screen at bed times. I've found I practice hobbies more such as reading, writing, crafting and knitting and conversations are much more meaningful when you're present with the other person. My sleep has also vastly improved from not staring at a blue light as often.

Gratitude

Through meditating I've really learnt to be a lot more grateful for my surroundings, the fresh air and the people I have around me. There's also a pack on the Headspace app that is dedicated to practising gratitude- something I plan to do this year.

Sleep

One of the great features surrounding the app is he sleep meditation. If you're someone like me who struggles too switch off/ stop worrying at bed time, the sleep sounds are perfect. There's lots to choose from but my favourites to drift off to are Piano and Hubbub and Drift Off for it's airy harmonies. There's also wind downs you can use if you need to switch off and stories you can play to drift off. I personally prefer the sleep sounds and concentrating on my breathing to switch off and before I know it I'm in a deep sleep.

Mental Health

One of the biggest advantages I've found through meditation is how it has helped my state of mind mentally. I came off my antidepressants last year (which you can find out more about here) and meditation has really helped to keep me balanced. Meditation has been a great way too nurture my mind, figure out what I need and also learn to let thoughts come and go without having to act on them, worry or over think. Its taught me to free myself from my thoughts which has been incredibly liberating and  cathartic.

There's so many amazing packs no the Headspace app that cover a variety of topics such as the following:

- Anxiety
- Grief
- Exercise
- Study
- Gratitude

And those are just a few to name. There is literally a course for everyone, no matter what point you're at  life and if you don't want to commit to a course? There's daily meditations that switch up each day.

I've recently gotten into the habit of making meditation part of my routine and practice every single day. So far I'm at 161+ day and counting and to be honest I can't see me breaking the habit! Even if it's a couple of minutes rather than  20 minute session, every little helps to keep my mind healthy, balanced and happy.

I'd recommend everyone try it as a way to implement mindfulness into their life. To take a few minutes out a day that will relax you, reset your brain and overall make you feel better mentally, how could you not at least try meditation?

Why camping is good for you! | Mindfulness and Wellbeing

Camping.

A lot of people shudder at the thought of camping as it’s not luxurious whatsoever but to me it’s a sheer treat- so much so that it has benefited my mental health and today I want to tell you why.

Being Outdoors

It’s an obvious one but a good place to start, being outdoors does wonders for your body and mind. The fresh air and being exposed to nature can do wonders for you, with studies proving that even a walk can give you lasting positive feelings for up to seven hours after* CountryLiving.com (source)

So just think about how that being in the outdoors, being at one with nature could benefit you when going for a long weekend or a weeks break in your tent.

We watch the sun go down over the horizon each night which was spectacular and I couldn’t help but say the same thing each night to Chris which was “this is what it’s all about”. But it’s true! This is what life is about. Beautiful everyday occurrences that we take for granted rather than how many likes have validated me on Instagram that day or if my outfit is new...

Natural Light

We’re all aware of how bad artificial lights can be for our bodies; in particular phones are especially bad. I found that through sleeping in a tent I was waking up a lot earlier and going to bed earlier too. The nylon semi-translucent material of the tent allowed light to flood our sleeping area from as early as 5:30am so by 6:30-7am I was wide awake and bright as a button, ready to face the day and open up the tent to let in some well deserved fresh morning air. I definitely don’t get the same effect when I’m back in my fully insulated home with heavily lined curtains and black out blinds. If anything I’m trying to shut the outside out and prolong sleep or at least I was until I’d been camping. And of course at night in the summer the sun goes down anytime between 9 and 10:30pm so my body clock was telling me it’s time to sleep, you’re tired and you’re ready to settle down for a good sleep.

Almost Living... Off the Grid?

With our tent set up we did have electricity so we weren’t entirely basic but we only used it to charge phones (which tbh we only really used for photos and map features whilst we were away), to boil a kettle because we all need a decent brew in the morning and then to cook. The rest of it was “roughing it” so to speak, not having the luxuries of a big comfy bed, sleeping instead on an air bed and with our clothes and belongings in piles around us. It made me appreciate our little space and that this was really all I needed to essentially survive with the husband and hound.

My Mental Health

Going back to my first point about being outdoors and my main point of this post- all of the above helped me to feel much more happy and content in my mind. I have a habit of getting into a bad cycle of feeling anxious of going out and in particular on my own. It might sound strange but the thought of doing a food shop on my lonesome or walking the dog without someone else can sometimes make me feel really really anxious. Even nipping across the road (and I mean literally a 2 seconds walk) to the shop can make me feel uptight so I’ll put it off. I’d rather go without that food thing I wanted or think oh well the dog can go out with Chris. So going and literally being outside for a week probably sounds like it would be hell for me..right? Well surprisingly no. It has the reverse effect and the more time I spend outside, the better it is for my well being and bizarrely the more I want to be outside and do things for myself like walk the dog on my own. I can't explain it but it feels as though my brain is at ease in nature and the outdoors once I give it the chance. It's easy to get into the comfortable trap of home, being in your own little fort where no one can get you but sometimes you're better pushing yourself and your boundaries as it will do you and your mind the world of food. So if you're anything like me and find you can anxious- give camping a try. What's the worst that can happen?

The Prosecco Sessions Episode 3: Mindfulness and Wellbeing with Lizzie Benton

I've been getting into the idea of mindfulness of late as well as trying my best to look after my general well being and my mind. I find that in this day and age we're being surrounded by technology and sometimes that can be overwhelming; plus we are generally taught to look after our bodies but there is less emphasis to talk about our mental health.

My good friend and blogger Lizzie from Lizaboo came to chat to me on the topic of mindfulness and well being and shared some of her tips and tricks on how to check in with your mind as well as sharing her own experiences and we swapped stories over a glass of fizz or two!

I hope this video is as helpful to you guys as it has been to me. Ironically on the day we filmed it I was having one of the worst mental health days I've had in some time- something which I'm hoping  to discuss and share on my channel in the future. Despite my shitty day, talking openly about this topic made me feel so much better so hopefully it will help others and spread the message that we need to discuss our mental health and practice mindfulness a lot more.

Click below to watch the video and I'll be back soon! 

Before I go I want to also say a massive THANK YOU to Lizzie for getting involved with the Prosecco Sessions. Her blog is all about mindfulness and well being and I encourage everyone to have a read!

Pressure to Produce | Is Social Media Making Me Ill?

Social Media, blogging, recording, streaming, content content content...!

 I don't know if I'm the only person who puts themself under immense pressure to be in the game and on the ball with their social media outputs but after a beautiful relaxing weeks holiday, I cried...

Sunday night- the cusp of a new week. I felt happy, relaxed and rested after a weeks holiday. Everything in the house was up to date- a full fridge, an empty washing basket and the ironing all done. I felt GOOD! My next thought was I've got some time, lets create content!

I love producing content and being creative and I thought I'd try something new but after two hours of faffing on one task, getting nowhere and feeling like a downright failure, I burst into tears.

This isn't the first time I've cried over social media this year and it seems to be a reoccurring trend. Every few months I get this wave of overwhelming pressure wash over me and everything gets a bit much. To make things worse I then focus on all the things I haven't done like not putting out a blog post in over a week, my scheduled tweets running out and my whatsapp messages through the roof... I end up melting into a sorry mess and feeling like a failure. 

Luckily for me I have a husband and fellow blogger friends who are always there to listen and pick me back up. (Yes that's you Laura, Pippa and Chris.) The hubster likes to point out that nothing will happen if I don't post. It's not work, I don't get paid (generally) to post so why do I put so much pressure on myself? It's a bloody good question and one that I don't have an answer for in truth. My friends will tell me to take a stop back, chill and come back to it when I'm ready and in a better place. But what do I get myself in such a state in the first place?

 Is social media to blame? And is it contributing to our stress levels and pressure to produce, consume and be switched on 24/7? I honestly don't know but its how it can make me eel when it all gets too much. I's like a to do list that is never ending and I find I can never fully switch off from it.

If I'm totally honest with myself I have fallen out of love a  bit with blogging compared to how I used to feel. I have lost the drive, motivation and energy for it and I think its my own fault because of the pressure I put on myself. When and why did I start putting such ridiculous pressure upon myself when this is just a hobby after all?

I then sometime toy with the idea of jacking it in altogether but then I wonder what I'd do with my tie. Would I have fomo? Blogging has brought me so many wonderful opportunities over the years as well as amazing friendships which wouldn't be if it weren't for this hobby.

Denim Jacket- Primark (old)

Cropped Trousers- New Look

Slogan Tee- Joanie

Trainers- Converse

Photography by Sians Photography

My biggest fear of all (which I'm aware is going to sound insane) is if I don't blog... what defies me as a person? And even worse- I worry that my friends and family will find me boring!

Blogging has been "my thing" for such a long time. I feel I'd be lost without it. maye quitting isn't the ticket but learning to somehow release myself from my own grips of pressure? Anyway these are all just my ramblings, thoughts and feelings on the situation but I'd love to know if anyone else ever feels like this and what you do/have done to overcome it.